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Saturday 25 August 2012

High maintenance

I was aimlessly wandering through the depths of my computer's history and came across my constantly neglected blog. I have no excuse apart from being terribly lazy when it comes to writing, seriously lacking ideas that might sound interesting to someone who has nothing better to do but reading this so for that dear reader I have to do my best and not cause and involuntary head banging against the desk.

In the last two weeks or so I have had the privilege of eavesdropping on guys' conversations... Well, when you live with 3 or 4 it's not so much the case of me hiding behind the doors and straining my ears to catch oh so vital information but more like two words "shared kitchen". I know it doesn't sound half as interesting as me doing Veronica Mars-meets-Belle Boyd, but it's so much easier despite me still managing to miss out on half of whatever is said because my ears and brain are predisposed to droning out about 50% of any men talk. I guess it's female self-preservation which is great on one hand, but on the other it causes us so much grief and long phone calls or text messages to our girlfriends analysing what a non-suspecting male might have thought when he said this and that. We have to dissect the words merely because we missed out on most of the sentence anyway. 

But back to me being given a glimpse into the male mind (I wish). The story begins with three men discussing a fellow Venusian and me wandering into the previously mentioned shared kitchen. By the time I realised that the conversation was not about computers, movies I have no clue about or where to get the best pint it was already too late to catch any relevant and to my brain interesting pieces of information apart from the words high maintenance. Typically my brain started churning and humming and using most of my body's energy to make some sense of what my ears had just processed. And I couldn't. What is high maintenance supposed to be? As far as I am concerned and I am fully backed by most of my female friends a high maintenance girlfriend would be someone incredibly clingy,  phoning you 10 times a day, expecting expensive gifts and treats, wrinkling her perfectly cute button nose over a night spent in a local pub as it has no Michelin stars, etc. But what does it take to be portrayed as a HM crazy person to his friends?

A short answer was lots of phone calls and being annoyed at not getting back to her asap. And even though I am not the type to call my man 5 times a day, I don't find getting annoyed at him for lack of communication a bad thing. If he is busy, why can't he just text saying "Busy. Will call you as soon as possible." When you're freshly in love (and also after the honeymoon period is over) you want to talk to that oh so important person, you want to share how mundane or exciting your day has been and it is disappointing when he just isn't interested. After all he is the most important person in your life at this point and sharing every little detail is our way of showing that we care. In my experience lack of communication and reluctance to talk is one of the main relationship failure mechanisms.
So, talk and listen. And if you don't like what we do, tell us. We can't read your mind, we don't get the sub-text from your facial expressions and your advice to us "What a man says, is exactly what a man thinks" will never be understood as we are predisposed to try to get more meaning out of "Sure, I'll see you."

Here's a piece of history: Belle Boyd was a famous female spy during American Civil war and she was on the side of the Confederacy. She shot a Union soldier at the age of 17 because he cursed her mother. As a result Union soldiers were supposed to keep tabs on her, which worked fine for her as she got plenty of secrets out of them.

What I learnt: a "person" from Venus is Venusian.
Photo courtesy of www.cartoonstock.com

Tuesday 3 April 2012

Super Efficient

I am so efficient. I am the wonder woman of efficiency and getting things done. Little Miss Proactive rolling in abundance of incentive with such a positive, can-do approach to anything that it's already scary to a certain extent. I can already hear some people telling me to justify this self promotion, so here it goes. It is my second day off work and my brilliant plan was to tie all the lose ends this week, finally do the laundry, so it stops spilling out of my basket and so on and so forth. And somehow I managed to do all of my dreaded chores before I crashed to bed last night. So, here you go. Super efficient. Which leaves time to do absolutely bugger all today.

Is that something I could use in my CV? Gets things done in no time. Excellent time management skills. Extraordinary at distributing work. Ability to multitask.  Gee, what else do those employers want?  A triple PhD and a gazillion courses in how to use some random program nobody has ever heard of before? Hmmm... I guess now that the mysterious cheque disappearance has been solved, I can embark on a new adventure on how to persuade recruiters and employers to give me my dream job. This sounds like a tough nut to crack. Fingers crossed everybody!

Monday 2 April 2012

A Neglected Blog Comes To Life

OMG! Where do I begin? I have so neglected this little space of mine in the great unknown (despite it popping up every day in my favorites page) that, if it were made out of some substance, would have a great big cloud of dust blown of it just about now. It is quite pathetic how many other activities I put in the prime position when I used to love blogging and blabbing on about some random issue that I encountered. Ah well, nothing I can really do about it now but to try to get everyone's attention yet again.

Now, to recap the last 10 months or so. The cheque arrived after countless mysterious drawbacks which remain unexplained. I went back to my summer job and spent two months enjoying the easy life of someone who gets paid to do what they do best and get a full board on top of it. Summer was brilliant. After that I moved to London to pursue my American dream in a non-American city. You know what I mean, the opportunity for prosperity and success, and an upward social mobility achieved through hard work blah-dee-blah. Turns out that the opportunities to show how hard working I am bit me right on my a**. Which consequently suggests that prosperity is still far fetched. I admit, I never expected the move to be easy or that the streets are paved with gold or any of that nonsense, but I surely have not imagined it to be so tough. And now here I am... Maybe I should stop right here right now for tonight or I will get completely immersed in something that someone very important to me called mranting recently. It is highly likely that nobody wants to get involved or dragged screaming and kicking into having to strain their eyes and in the end realize they are none the wiser but surprisingly feel completely depressed by my ramblings or maybe totally elated thanking all their lucky stars their life is on a better path.

But I have not lost my determination (yet) and will keep sending those applications and sooner or later (hopefully a lot sooner than later or let's say in the next fortnight - please Easter Bunny) there will be someone who would love to have my sweet continental voice answering their phone.